I do admit I’m learning to not be a procrastinator since it’s stressful as the weekends approach. Each week the same dance happens where college term comes and I’m handing things in late and continue to put things in the back burner. Only to stress and rush to focus for hours til I’m burned out and on my wits end. During the week I work part time and have my boys. I worry about every little thing. What to cook, what to clean, where to start, doing the tasks asked of me along with much more. Lately I find myself stopping to take a breath. Worrying about the amount of stress I endure and experience.
Will this be forever? Maybe. But I want to find a way to endure while also finding peace. I’ve learned to take naps when I can. Attempt one to two tasks a day and keep a rhythm. This has so far been helpful. The stress although fairly high doesn’t not put me in a state of shutting down and full on panic anymore. I’ve questioned my mental health and slowly have returned to having moments of self care. These moments I get to love myself and be selfish for 5 minutes. The burn out lasts so long. Monday comes again with the linger of anxiety for the week. Relief of being able to accomplish some tasks. Grateful to have made it through a weekend.
One day at a time. I’ll make it through. Motherhood isn’t easy but it’s special in its own way. A journey of never ending wonder and surprises. Always learning and permanently tired.