Tag: change

Life, motherhood

Random Thoughts: Making Time

Everlasting Sirua

As someone who’s constantly on the go. And I mean this in every sense. Whether it be physically or mentally. It’s hard to make time for yourself and perhaps others. This is your reminder to do so. Self love. Self care. And find balance in your life. Take a few minutes to breathe. Call someone who makes you happy or take a walk. Whatever it takes to bring you back from turmoil. Cry it out if you need to. Life can be hard. It’s okay to not be okay.

I have a lot of moments like this as a mother. Motherhood is a still something I struggle with emotionally every day. I love my babies. They’re my world. It’s easy to forget about myself in the heat of things. When they’re crying and need things. Once they’re in bed after a long and difficult day. The mom guilt comes in and there I am wishing I could of done better and wondering what I could of done better. But I try to remember that the best thing is to take care of myself. If I’m taking care of myself then I’m bringing that positivity into their lives as well. Even to those around me. Although it’s better said than done. Please try to make time for you.

Life

Origin of Sirua

Everlasting Sirua

There’s not much a story behind on the name other than what it means to me. A lot of my tags and social media are Siruax15 and I’ve gotten used to the name when being to referred to as so online. I almost find it to be an entity when I play online games or introduce myself online as more time passes. I’ve started to accept that the name I came up with has really become a part of me. I might need to drop the X one day since people confuse it for the name. I did it to separate the 15 from the name. Guess you can say I’ve marketed the name for myself due to its anonymity it gives me and what it means to me entirely.

Now the meaning:

S is first letter of my name and thus every letter is the name of my family’s name. S is mine, I for husband, R and U for my late daughter and son, A for my son. Second son’s name is an S so its included and perfect to me. Although the name is used as a reference towards me. It’s also a reminder that behind this facade is not only me. It’s all the titles that comes with being Sirua. Mother, Wife, Gamer and much more. Anyone out there have a name they made or been stuck with for some reason?

Yay on 50 blog posts on here!

Short blog today. Lack of sleep gets me most days besides being busy. I will update and pin my social media links if anyone wants to contact me. Stay sweet everyone!

Life

Taking Control of my Health: First Wellness Entry

Everlasting Sirua

A while ago I started a series where I thought I would lose weight and begin being healthy again. I was pregnant soon after and that was forgotten after the many days of morning sickness along with being exhausted. Now at postpartum, breastfeeding and avoiding caffeine for the sake of it all, I felt the need to take control of myself again. To take the chance to change my eating habits little by little.

I have admit, this has been a mixture of good and not so good. I am still getting into groove with being a mother to a newborn again. My older ASD son has therapies 20 plus hours a week, sleep deprived, Pumping, part-time job, full time online student and still wanting to connect again socially. It’s overwhelming at times since time management can go out the window when my days aren’t planned. Kids are wild cards and life can throw things at you at full speed. Most days I have a grasp but others I lose track of when I ate and what will I eat.

Not knowing what to eat and making meals consumed my time. All I was consuming were essentially my lactation brownies, water, milk, and dinner if the kid allowed. Most days we ordered dinner and I did my best for it to be something not too unhealthy. It’s difficult feeding yourself when you have two other kids who need your undivided attention.

I desperately searched for anything that I could possibly drink or have. My protein shakes that I love contained more caffeine than needed and while breastfeeding that can be an issue. My best bet was Amazon Fresh and I luckily came across these personal salad bowls that came with different ingredients and dressing so you can enjoy different flavor profiles without worry what to eat or preparing ingredients since its all there for you to mix. I also order some small servings of fruits to serve and snack throughout the day if needed. Planters Nut-rition pack snacks, cheese sticks, Sargento Balanced breaks with cheddar cheese, and tried to have dinners where protein was the main focus. Eventually I came across a meal plan service called Splendid Spoon and ordered that to try out. They have different plans and I opted for 5 smoothies and 5 plant based meals to start off.

First of all, I am one of those people that when it comes to smoothies I can be a bit put off by ingredients and taste. Of course, the smoothies blends are great for anyone used to drinking healthy already. I t was intimidating for me personally but I managed to drink all five this past week without thinking about it much. As for the plant based food I definitely have enjoyed eating them. My favorites so far are Vegetable Bolognese and Beans with Greens. The Cuban Bowl I enjoyed as well but it didn’t have the flavor profile I was expecting but I would order it again perhaps. I am still getting through the meals and will update which others I enjoy.

It’s been about two weeks since I started to eat healthier and I have to say that it is important what we put into our bodies to fuel it. I have a bit more energy than before and I do take into account that I’m breastfeeding so I do up my calories a bit to fit my goals and make sure I eat and snack a bit throughout the day. My portions are reduced and taking into account my weight before being pregnant with my second. I’ve lost about 20 lbs so far. I hit a plateau where now I go up and down 1 pound but I am happy to be fitting better in my favorite shorts again. I will update more as I go and hopefully I keep myself motivated this time. Once I’m healed and ready to go I might add some work outs. Squats at home? Walking with a stroller? Both? We shall see!

Life

Feeling Distant

Everlasting Sirua

For someone that tends to find the joy in small things I tend to fall off at times. Many know this feeling where one moment you’re doing something you thought you love but then life happens and there never seems to be enough time for it? There’s been many phases of this for me. One moment I am passionate about something then the next I lose that spark only to find myself circling back to it again. I am not sure why this happens. It feels like I am constantly losing myself and finding myself all over again. There’s very little things I find that I dedicate myself to. Do I lack the passion and drive? Is this my limit today? How can I go back and redo this all over again?

Quite frankly, it’s been overwhelming. I might share more of this one day when I am ready. Being personal can be tough when you struggle with how much sharing is too much. Or if very little sharing will bore everyone. I am coming back to blogging and I am circling around different ideas about the reality of motherhood, attending college online, working part time from home, discussing my goals and dreams. It would be nice to look back on this and see how much I grow with every passing moment. A personal journal of my path and changes along the way. Except I get to share it with all of you. Just a little confusing update for everyone. Stay safe and much love. Always feel free to comment below. I’ll add my social media links sooner or later to connect with everyone.

Life

New Normal: Staying Home

Everlasting Sirua

Adjusting has been difficult to say the least. There are days things aren’t difficult. You take things as they come. Unexpected turns are made and there’s so many thoughts in place. You’re just shocked you sleep through the night.

My life has been hectic. You’d think being at home meant being less busy. Not the case at all. Between decluttering the whole house and not working from home anymore with a now 2 year old. It’s impossible not to be busy! I’m also still cooking from home at least 2 times a week. I order out if possible. (Grubhub is tempting to say the least. We are so guilty of not passing up a good deal). I only go out maybe twice a month only for groceries or to step outside front for my plants and watch my husband run around with our son. Life’s been calmer and mentally hectic more than anything.

My cyber social life has skyrocketed. I’m back to playing video games mostly ps4 and animal crossing on the switch. Binge watching anime again with my husband. Things that got me through so much in life already. It’s starting to feel like there’s not enough time in a day for everything to be done. But, I value our health and how we’ve dealt through this quarantine. My husband comes home with stories of how the outside has been doing. I can’t help but weirdly realize how much things around us have changed. Few months ago we were planning with friends and family to gather for a picnics and going to Central Park. Now it’s animal crossing and group chats with memes and venting sessions. Daily face times to check in with each other.

Living in NYC with the virus it’s hard to see an end to this. Though there are many pros and cons. It feels unreal. To not be able to leave when you want. Questioning yourself as you get ready to run an errand if it’s absolutely necessary. Anyone else forget their mask while walking outside and turning around to run back to get it? (ME!) The amount of tension outside is thicker than the air itself. You feel it come off people in waves. The split second horror on people’s faces when someone clears their throat.

It’s hard to say “I’m okay” when things aren’t like they used to be. Change sometimes can come in increments. But this was thrown at everyone and it’s difficult to even handle it with grace. I hope we can all get through this.

I’ll try to post more as time goes. Probably lighter things and small successes I’ve had personally. But I just had to get this out of the way. Stay safe everyone. Much love always. I’m still active in my succulent insta @everlasting_echeverias