Life

Prompt Weekend

What activities do you lose yourself in?

An activity I lose myself in would be journaling. Now with junk journal I find myself prepping the journal for when I write. I have washi tape galore with stamps and junk paper to decorate. I’ve never really been the arts and craft type person so this small hobby that’s developing is bringing me a sense of peace. When writing, I slip on some headphones, play some music and I’m lost in the moment of what I’m writing about. There’s an array of emotions when writing. Gratefulness, sadness, fearful, confidence and much more. I can find myself smiling towards the end or my vision will blur with tears threatening to fall. I can easily lose myself in these emotions thus why journaling is that activity for me. What’s yours?

Sailor Moon Washi tapes

Hobbies, mental health

Journaling: Junk Journaling

As mentioned in a previous blog entry. I’ve been journaling for years. They’re more like diaries. I finished one that I’ve had since September 2017 til February 2023. Almost six years worth of entries. A person of the past. The emotional shifts and growth as you watch yourself grow through the page you write.

I have different journals for different uses. Budget, To Do List/Work, Diary and Miscellaneous one with random thoughts or ideas for something. I get obsessive about journaling sometimes. Writing things down physically is different than typing it out. I tend to retain more that way.

This notebook I purchased from Notebook therapy. There’s so many options and limited time notebooks. Their washi tapes are so cute and they sell rubber stamps. This is one of many notebooks I own from them. Their main use is for bullet journal but I can use it as a diary as well.

Whale collection Washi

These whale collection washi tape are so adorable. Once I have junk paper and everything to craft I’ll show off what I do before beginning my entry. I’m so excited to bring out a part of creativity in myself to share with you all. It’s almost the end of February and I feel a sense of change coming. Life is already crazy with busy times and finishing up this term of school. I’m hopeful once I finish things will calm down. But something tells me that’s not the case. I will have little time between school finishing and the comings weeks to relax. Life is funny in that way.

Anyone been journaling or likes to journal? Scrap book? Comment below your experience!

Grief, Life, mental health

Monday Mental Health: Death and Always Being Alright

How does death change your perspective?

This prompt opened up this conversation for me. Where it’s interesting how death changed my perspective through the years. Throughout life you experience death in different ways. Whether it be a pet, someone you didn’t know, the news, or close to home. It can change things.

Personally, I’ve accepted that death is a part of life that we cannot escape from. We grieve the ones we lose in this life and my perspective is that death is sometimes an inconsolable feeling. A plague that we secretly tend to fear. A sadness that touches our hearts.

After losing my first two babies. Death drilled a hole in me that I couldn’t fix. A trauma that would eventually ease but never truly leave. I mourn the what ifs and could have been with them.

Then I experienced the death of a close friend. I was devastated for the loss. For his loved ones and for those he brought joy to in his life. The art in his photography and his youth. Even if years pass. It’s like a pause button you can never press play on again. Our conversation frozen in time where there was no ending in sight. That part of death is dark and sorrowful.

That perspective has also made me appreciate things more and work hard to continue to live my life. To always be alright. Some days I’m more than okay. There will be days I’m less than. But I know I’m always alright.

Life, mental health, motherhood

Middle of the Week Burnout: Motherhood

When you become a parent. You have these worries that never leave you. From the moment you’re pregnant. All the what ifs, the dos and don’ts. Then, your little one comes into this world. They’re in your arms and the worry has now escalated. You’re responsible to raise a tiny person into a world full of obstacles. You want them to be better than you ever were. You start to thing it’ll be everything you ever imagine…til it’s not.

Everyone’s situation is unique from parenting differently to raising our little ones that have different personalities and struggles. You struggle inside with the exhaustion, the constant am I good enough, and the guilt of everything you probably did wrong that day. You’re touched out, overstimulated, doing the things you had promised you’d never do. Well, that’s just it. Parenthood, a whirl wind.

For me, weekends come along where I’m off from work and I’m busy figuring out how to entertain my older son with autism. He’s obsessed with his iPad and few toys keep him entertained. He likes all the messy things. Slime, paint, markers and playing with water. Winters in NY are long so we set up the little trampoline to tire him out. Our youngest attempts to do all the things brother does and though his curiosity is lovely it ends up with us wrestling him to stop climbing everywhere to touch everything. Nice things? Probably won’t last long with those little fingers. I can’t tell you all how many charging cables we’ve gone through in the past year alone.

Monday comes along and school comes along for my older son. I’m grateful since he loves it and goes without a hitch to some wonderful people. Five hours doesn’t seem enough. Between cleaning, studying, working, chasing a 2 year old or running errands. My whole day is a blur and school is over.

Wednesdays is when exhaustion sets in. The burnout and relief. Husband is off that night and the next day. Although my most productive days. They’re also when I’ve reached peak lack of patience. I spend most of it recovering from the weekend. The laundry piling. The toys that are always out the disheveled mind and house. I lose myself in it all.

Are there good days? Yes. That’s why I focus on having some self care. To remember that I matter. That I do love my boys and watching them grow up together and that they’re loved, cared for and counting on us to be there and watching their dad play and be silly with them are moments I recall the most. How lucky they are to have my parents and watch their faces light up when they see their grandkids. It’s wonderful.

But burnouts happen. You feel less than yourself and it’s okay. Cry. Scream into a pillow. Take a moment for yourself. This isn’t perfect journey. You’re learning just as much as they are. A little grace goes a long way. Haven’t you earned yourself that?

Parenthood is hard. Motherhood can be lonely and hopeless at times. Other times it’s about the love, giggles and smiles. Or holding their small hands in yours and wondering how long will this last. But, everyday you wake up and you do it all over again.


Hobbies, Life, Tarot/Card Readings

Tarot Tuesday: Keep Trusting the Process

It’s strange how life will continue to give you signs to keep going and to trust yourself and the process. January has ended. February is here. Time keeps going on. I reshuffled my tarot deck after a while of feeling away from it all.

A familiar card appears and I can’t help but feel relieved. The seven of coins as I mentioned in a previous post. Speaks to a journey you’re on. You’ve put in the work and the rewards are coming. The journey is not done but it’s coming along. There’s always a moment where my trust wavers slightly. It’s tiring to keep going and feeling as if there’s no end. But, I won’t give up now. Hopefully my readers won’t either. Stay sweet everyone and enjoy your Tuesday.

Hobbies, Life

Goals for 2023: Implementing and Progress

Lately I’m so caught up with writing and life. Honestly, I enjoy writing and always eager to find time to update and tweak the drafts currently being released.

I’m also excited to discover anchor.fm through WordPress. Podcasts for blogs? So cool! I released my first episode as a test run. I’m debating whether to take the time to read it myself and mess with a voice changer to enhance the reading experience. It’s going to take time and might have to adjust myself to do so if it’s better for my readers.

The tarot readings have slowed thus far but I’m confident there’s a lot I want to sense and know from the universe. Peering into myself and being motivated is part of my self care. My weight loss journey has stalled but I do plan to update you all on how I plan to reset and continue my progress.

I recently mentioned to someone how sometimes my emotions are like the ocean. Some days the waters is clear and serene. But there’s days it’s dark and ruthless. Others, a storm that I do my best to weather. However, I am always hopeful that I’ll be alright.

I’ve been taking some time to also read and inspire myself into writing more of the story. Studying as much as I can to finish school. Already halfway through the term. I’m excited to graduate and see what life’s opportunities has in store. To take a break from school so I can find my love for gaming and socializing more again. Maybe get ahead in writing Taken into the Stars. In few months time we will see. My goal is to eventually publish it.

As always. Stay sweet everyone. May life ease your path. Check out the latest update in my series Taken into the Stars Return or if you haven’t started it. Give it a read here: Taken into tha Stars Intro and let me know what you think. Enjoy!

Affiliate Links, Hobbies, Life, Product Review, Tarot/Card Readings

Tarot Tuesday: New Years

Been a while since I’ve done a tarot Tuesday. How about starting the new year with a spread?

I found this New Years spread here at: https://vanessairena.com/a-simple-new-year-tarot-spread/

In order from 1 to 4:

  • Seven of Swords
  • Pillar (AKA Empress)
  • Seven of Wands
  • Strength

What Am I Releasing:

Seven of Swords speaks to deception, enemies, manipulation. Personally speaking, that’s what I’ve been trying to let go for a long time. Having people who are willing to lie, disturb your peace, and cause you harm should have little to no space in your life. Easier said than done.

What I Learned

The Pillar (Empress) comes about when you’re nurturing. Whether it be an actual person or a project. It brings nurturing, love and pleasure into one. It also talks about self love and care, a time of growth. All of which I spend the last year learning and devoting myself to. This year is no different. I will continue to strive for what works for me.

What am I Cultivating

Seven of Wands says I’m cultivating protectiveness and boundaries. I’m clearing negativity that’s either been or is present. A new year brings about reflection. It’s okay to want to protect the energy you’ve built.

What Are My Tools

The tool in my arsenal: Strength with the meaning of resilience and determination. Challenges may come but if facing it with compassion and using internal will. I’ll combat these challenges and learn from the experience.


I’m satisfied with this spread’s revelation since it felt familiar and spoke to my truths in the past year and what’s to come. I’m determined to continue maintaining our peace, happiness and success through this year. And hope 2023 brings the same to my readers. I find that writing out plans, goals and organizing my time definitely helps. Whether this be a physical book or simply adding to your Google calendar. Even as an entrepreneur or worker, it’s essential to remember important dates or meetings. The cute planner above I’ve been using as of recently. You can start at any time since it’s a fill in planner, with completely blank sheets for you to use. I love the adorable Sakura design! You can find this planner here: Cherry Blossom Planner

But if you like something more simple, unique or professional here’s some popular ones:


**Disclaimer** As an Amazon associate this blog earns commission for purchases made with links on this post. Thank you for reading!

Life

Time Management: Work in Progress

My schedule has become more hectic as I enter the last phases of college, meeting demands at work and demands in life. Between a teething toddler, kindergarten applications for our special needs child, holidays and all. It seems as though there’s no time to stop and think. I’m in a constant go state of mind and quite frankly I can tell I might come crashing down in any second.

Thankfully a two-week break is coming. But before then, I want self-care. I need a nap and some me time. It’s what’s keeping me sane for the moment. When it comes to time management it’s difficult overall. Life has a set of categories when it comes to what will be done for the day. In my case, work/school/home/social/self care. Of course there’s sub categories but for now let’s keep it simple.

Everyday, I make the decision of how much time to put into each category. Do I divide them evenly? Do I have time for each one? What do I do if one suffers? Well, that usually ends in a “save for tomorrow” mindset. I’ve found that looking at my week and based on everyone else’s schedule and preference I can set a time to spend for each thing. Pre planning can help me mentally prepare for what’s to come. And have less stress on myself than usual. But we all know plans can shift quickly thus I adapt or tend to have a back up plan.

It’s not perfect and I’m still working on it. There’s still so much more things that I enjoy that I wish I had more time for. Gaming, writing, shows, reading and the gym. During my breaks I like doing a bit of everything more. But slowly I’ve been shying away from socializing the way I used to since my focuses have shifted. Priorities change and a category will suffer whether we like it or not. Just know it’s human and it’ll pass eventually.

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Six Months Post Op VSG: Stalls

Half a year down. One more year to go. I say this because that’s how long it may take to reach a goal weight with gastric sleeve. I’ve hit a stall recently. Mostly due to what I take in as food. Plus lack of exercise. I’m going to reset and start over. Back to strictly healthy foods and water. Along with upping my physical activity and holding myself responsible to go to the gym. The only cheat I’ll have is my weekly Starbucks that I love when studying. We will see how that goes.

Stalls are frustrating because you’re eating less and it feels like your body is refusing to lose weight. But sometimes taking a step back and assessing what you’re doing right or wrong then changing things a little can set you back on the right path. Mistakes are made along the way and habits don’t change in a day. I got lost along the way due to convenience and snacks. I let my cravings get the best of me when water should of been my best friend. I’ll get back there to that mindset of the gym and pushing past my limits.

Temptations are everywhere. Every outing. Every grocery shopping errand. People around you. Social parties. It’ll happen and you might fall off for a while. But it’s important to realize and get back up. Motivate yourself or find others to motivate you and support you. It’s okay to try again. It’s okay cause you’re learning and we are all learning. That’s the beauty of the journey (or struggle)