Tag: motherhood

Life, mental health, motherhood

Mental Health Mondays: Motherhood and Autism

Everlasting Sirua

As humans, we all have our struggles, and one of the most challenging ones can be our mental health. Emotional wellness plays a significant role in our overall well-being, and taking care of it is crucial. As a mother of two boys diagnosed with autism, balancing my own needs with my responsibilities can be a difficult task.

For starters, it is essential to recognize that everyone has different needs when it comes to their mental health. As a mother of two boys diagnosed with autism, my needs can vary from others, and it is important to take note of that. For me, taking care of my mental health is not only beneficial for me but also for my kids. Being in a better mental state allows me to provide a better environment for them.

Balancing self-care, work, socializing, college assignments, and hobbies can be overwhelming at times, especially when dealing with the responsibilities that come with parenting children with autism. It is crucial to set boundaries and prioritize tasks to avoid being overwhelmed. I have found that creating a daily routine and schedule has helped me manage my time better and reduce stress.

One of the most important things I have learned is to ask for help when needed. Raising children with autism can be challenging, and it is okay to ask for support. This support can come from friends, family, or even professional help. Joining support groups has benefited me as it provides a platform to share my experiences and connect with others who understand what I am going through. Meanwhile, at other times, I schedule calls with friends to vent and talk about our everyday lives to ensure I don’t feel alone.

Another critical aspect of maintaining good mental health is practicing self-care. As a mother, it can be easy to prioritize your children’s needs over yours. However, taking care of yourself is equally important. I set aside time to engage in activities I enjoy, such as reading, exercising, or even just taking a long bath. These activities help me recharge and feel more energized.

Lastly, it is essential to recognize that mental health struggles are okay. It does not mean that you are weak or incapable. It takes a lot of strength and courage to acknowledge and seek help for your mental health. It is essential to remember that recovery is not linear and that there will be setbacks. However, with the right tools and support, it is possible to overcome them. Taking care of our mental health is crucial, and as a mother of two boys diagnosed with autism, I have learned that it is essential to prioritize my emotional wellness. Balancing responsibilities while still taking care of yourself can be overwhelming, but setting boundaries, prioritizing tasks, asking for help, practicing self-care, and recognizing that struggling is okay can help in maintaining good mental health.

Much love to everyone and those who are parents. This journey is rough and we aren’t alone. But at times it feels that way. Good luck to us all!

Life, mental health, motherhood

Middle of the Week Burnout: Motherhood

Everlasting Sirua

When you become a parent. You have these worries that never leave you. From the moment you’re pregnant. All the what ifs, the dos and don’ts. Then, your little one comes into this world. They’re in your arms and the worry has now escalated. You’re responsible to raise a tiny person into a world full of obstacles. You want them to be better than you ever were. You start to thing it’ll be everything you ever imagine…til it’s not.

Everyone’s situation is unique from parenting differently to raising our little ones that have different personalities and struggles. You struggle inside with the exhaustion, the constant am I good enough, and the guilt of everything you probably did wrong that day. You’re touched out, overstimulated, doing the things you had promised you’d never do. Well, that’s just it. Parenthood, a whirl wind.

For me, weekends come along where I’m off from work and I’m busy figuring out how to entertain my older son with autism. He’s obsessed with his iPad and few toys keep him entertained. He likes all the messy things. Slime, paint, markers and playing with water. Winters in NY are long so we set up the little trampoline to tire him out. Our youngest attempts to do all the things brother does and though his curiosity is lovely it ends up with us wrestling him to stop climbing everywhere to touch everything. Nice things? Probably won’t last long with those little fingers. I can’t tell you all how many charging cables we’ve gone through in the past year alone.

Monday comes along and school comes along for my older son. I’m grateful since he loves it and goes without a hitch to some wonderful people. Five hours doesn’t seem enough. Between cleaning, studying, working, chasing a 2 year old or running errands. My whole day is a blur and school is over.

Wednesdays is when exhaustion sets in. The burnout and relief. Husband is off that night and the next day. Although my most productive days. They’re also when I’ve reached peak lack of patience. I spend most of it recovering from the weekend. The laundry piling. The toys that are always out the disheveled mind and house. I lose myself in it all.

Are there good days? Yes. That’s why I focus on having some self care. To remember that I matter. That I do love my boys and watching them grow up together and that they’re loved, cared for and counting on us to be there and watching their dad play and be silly with them are moments I recall the most. How lucky they are to have my parents and watch their faces light up when they see their grandkids. It’s wonderful.

But burnouts happen. You feel less than yourself and it’s okay. Cry. Scream into a pillow. Take a moment for yourself. This isn’t perfect journey. You’re learning just as much as they are. A little grace goes a long way. Haven’t you earned yourself that?

Parenthood is hard. Motherhood can be lonely and hopeless at times. Other times it’s about the love, giggles and smiles. Or holding their small hands in yours and wondering how long will this last. But, everyday you wake up and you do it all over again.

Affiliate Links, Discounts, Life, Product Review

Wonderfold Luxe: Few Weeks Later

Everlasting Sirua

After a few weeks of owning our Wonderfold. I wanted to give you all an update. Adventures have been a breeze with it. We eventually bought their snack tray for the kids since it made perfect sense for our boys. Kids. They’re always snacking and hydrating.

Overall the kids love it and we love it. We plan on purchasing more accessories in the future to continuing enhancing our experience with it. I do plan to post more photos with the kids and our adventures in the future. You can check them out on our socials. Our initial impressions is posted on my blog. Those haven’t changed and continue to be the reason we truly love having the wonderfold. Especially with our older son who’s autistic. He feels more secured when strapped in. He likes to look around every once in a while and it keeps him safe from running off. In our previous wagon he was too big and tall which made it unsafe. I couldn’t be more proud to be an affiliate to a wonderful product for parents.

If you or anyone you know is interested feel free to check it out here with my affiliate link: Wonderfold or use the code Sori for a discount! Feel free to comment or reach out with any question or concerns. Much love and stay sweet everyone!

Life

Saturday Update Vibes: Card Pull

Everlasting Sirua

Long week with tasks still left to do. My goal is to at least go to the gym 3-4 times a week to swim and warm ups. But I might have to more swim suits since one has been tiring to wash and dry the same one. I’ll probably hand wash and let it dry in the bathroom. It’s been a wonderful experience swimming again. Feeling one with the water and going home with my arms heavy from a good workout.

Of course procrastination has left me with many college homework assignments this weekend. Time has been my enemy and there’s no slowing down these days with work, getting organized and trying to get some sleep for once. A year of school left and I look forward to completing school and walking in graduation.

The High Sage (Aka High Priestess)

Decided to do a card pull with the intention of wanting to know what I should focus on. This card focuses on intuition. Asking to reclaim the wisdom within and be grounded. All of which I needed to hear and feel. Lately been thinking about the future a lot. It can be stressful and wishing things would happen when patience is needed to achieve what we want. I plan to enjoy this stillness and appreciate the current time. Every moment leads to an end. Enjoying the now and soaking in the memories are important.

Hope you enjoyed this little update. I’m also trying to write a story and have plans to continue writing more. I am not sure if they’ll be short stories or longer. Will keep you all updated. If you wish to connect my social are always posted. Stay sweet everyone!

Affiliate Links, Discounts, Product Review

Wonderfold Wagon Luxe: First Impressions

Everlasting Sirua

Mother of two kids can get hectic sometimes. My old son who’s now 4 is 3’6 or even a little over. And my 1 year old doesn’t like to be held as much when we are out. We had bought the baby trend wagon which was nice at first but it was hard for the boys to share and they weren’t strapped in since they didn’t have much space. As many know my 4 year old is on the spectrum and needs constant adult supervision. This makes going out to run errands on my own difficult or traveling with both kids highly unlikely unless I have my husband or someone else with me.

I came across Wonderfold and was excited to see how both the kids would fit and be strapped in with a harness. The canopy would block out a good amount of sun. Thus I started to compare all the types they had and settled for the Luxe W4. I was grateful they provided a special needs discount to help us save a bit and was one of the deciding factors for us to buy one. To receive this discount, they have a form which you bring to your child’s physician to fill out. Upload the form and you’ll hear back within 7-10 business days.

The wagon is spacious and feels solid. Putting it together wasn’t too hard. Definitely easier if there’s two people involved. It holds about 4 kids but with my 4 year old it’ll be 3 in case we have anyone along. The harness keeps both kids secured and with the all terrain wheels it’s ready to go!

Shopping with the W4 Luxe

The kids loved it overall and my husband was impressed with how easy it is to have both the kids safely in the wagon without a hassle. It’s definitely a hit with us!

Of course things come with its minor cons. But this one is more car related. I highly recommend measuring your car space before purchasing and checking the dimensions on Wonderfold’s website. I would imagine a full size SUV fits this easily. As a Tesla Model Y owner. It was a hassle to figure this out. We initially folded it and put it inside and at first it didn’t fit at all. I lost hope until my husband removed the wheels. This can be done easily since the back wheels have a piece that holds it together on each side. The front wheels you need either a small key or tool and they slide right off. We put the wheels to the side and it fit perfect inside! This is obviously a lot of steps but it was the only compromise we had to face due to limited trunk space.

Overall this wagon has been perfect for our family and outings so far. With summer coming around and traveling plans. I do plan on taking this everywhere I go for our needs and adventures.

If you’re interested in purchasing a Wonderfold wagon or wish to know more click this link to find out more about their options and find what’s perfect for you. Ready to checkout? Use the code Sori for a discount! I’ll be posting more updates and adventures on my Instagram with it. So feel free to follow me below on my social links. Much love and stay sweet everyone!

Life

Being Enough

Everlasting Sirua

Weather changes bring about a stir of emotions. Transitions and new year begin to settle as time escapes and you start to feel there’s none left for yourself. That’s why this is a journey. My journey of self care and self love.

Being overwhelmed at times can cause certain things to suffer. I want to be present when I blog. To write and come back to it either later or consistently. That was my plan. However, I’ve found myself with less time and more time to hopefully grow. I’ve always been good at certain things. But never excelled the way I’d hope. I’ve settled to be only good enough since I haven’t found my calling or it hasn’t found me. Sometimes I don’t think I ever will. Perhaps there isn’t a calling. I just need to live, enjoy and watch everything else grow or hinder. To be thankful while also struggling with doubts.

I’m learning to be kind with myself. To devote my titles of mother and wife. But, I should be kinder to myself. Remind myself that I am enough. Even if there is room to be better. Strive for it and accept that there will be difficult days too. The universe has a funny way of giving my signs. And I’m ready to listen.

I hope everyone is doing well. Tarot Tuesdays will be returning soon as I still practice tarot and still take appointments. Thank you for reading. Stay sweet everyone.

Life, motherhood

Weekend Burn Outs: One Day at a Time

Everlasting Sirua

I do admit I’m learning to not be a procrastinator since it’s stressful as the weekends approach. Each week the same dance happens where college term comes and I’m handing things in late and continue to put things in the back burner. Only to stress and rush to focus for hours til I’m burned out and on my wits end. During the week I work part time and have my boys. I worry about every little thing. What to cook, what to clean, where to start, doing the tasks asked of me along with much more. Lately I find myself stopping to take a breath. Worrying about the amount of stress I endure and experience.

Will this be forever? Maybe. But I want to find a way to endure while also finding peace. I’ve learned to take naps when I can. Attempt one to two tasks a day and keep a rhythm. This has so far been helpful. The stress although fairly high doesn’t not put me in a state of shutting down and full on panic anymore. I’ve questioned my mental health and slowly have returned to having moments of self care. These moments I get to love myself and be selfish for 5 minutes. The burn out lasts so long. Monday comes again with the linger of anxiety for the week. Relief of being able to accomplish some tasks. Grateful to have made it through a weekend.

I’m learning.

One day at a time. I’ll make it through. Motherhood isn’t easy but it’s special in its own way. A journey of never ending wonder and surprises. Always learning and permanently tired.

Life

Opening about D-MER: Not Every Breastfeeding Journey is a Happy One

Everlasting Sirua

What’s D-MER you ask? Not a lot of people know of it or talk about it. To be honest I hadn’t heard of it either until I had my 2018 baby. For those that don’t know D-MER is Dysphoria Milk Ejection Reflex (let down).

What it does is once breast milk starts to “let down” these feelings begin to stir that are negative. There’s so many ways I could describe it but on most days I feel as though theirs this emptiness in my stomach and a knot in my throat. I dread this feeling every time I pump since so many thoughts arise from it. Back in 2018, I thought I was going through Postpartum depression but odd enough I would only feel this when pumping. Outside of pumping I was mostly okay and felt tired. I was relieved to not be pumping until I had to pump again a few hours later. The cycle was endless and the anxiety would built up the first few minutes of pumping and slowly dissolved towards the end. The relief after was like a breath of fresh air.

I will admit, I have experienced panic attacks in my life and I can say that D-MER can feel similar to the build up of a panic attack. It messes with your mental health. It can make you feel alone and hopeless in that moment. Especially such a vulnerable moment such as breastfeeding or pumping. I was a healing mother with emotional and physical wounds, a newborn baby that needed me and navigating unknown territory. I felt as though I was trapped in my own emotions and no way of getting out. I felt as if I would snap from the pressure of perfect expectations I formed for myself as a mother and wife. There were times I wanted to scream and cry for everything and everyone to leave me alone. To the point I would silence my phone and found myself breathing through it without being aware of what I was going through. One day, I had enough and began to research. I came across this article about D-MER- It all began to make sense. I cried and never felt so relieved that there was a name for what was happening to me.

I hope that if anyone runs across this blog wondering about D-MER or if you’re learning about this for the first time out of curiosity. Well, welcome to my world. If you’re experiencing D-MER as a mother breastfeeding just know you’re not alone and there is hope yet. The symptoms lessen as time carries on, however, if you’re experiencing thoughts of self-harm and feel that your mental health is suffering. Please do what is best for you and your baby. Fed is always best and a happy momma is a happy baby.

Life, motherhood

Exclusively Pumping: Breastfeeding Journey Glimpse

Everlasting Sirua

To be honest, things have been hectic. Between little sleep and slowly trying to get back on schedule and keeping a routine with a toddler while feeding a newborn on demand. It’s…well demanding. Along with a part time job at home, school online, my son’s therapy (that’s another blog for another day) I think some days I reach peak of mental exhaustion. I’v been lucky to have my husband for five weeks to help me through this time cause it is not easy getting back to whatever we consider reality at this point.

All things considered I am okay. This time around I know more than I did the first time around with my son. I was new to breastfeeding and pumping. I was new to the experience of motherhood and everything it physically entailed. This time around I am a little less nervous and knew what I wanted which was to pump as much as I could for this baby.

The first time around I remember doing so much research and stressing about my output. I was only making about 20 ounces per day after two to three weeks and it wasn’t enough. I was able to supplement at night with formula but my goal was to strictly breastfeed. Eventually, by an increase of water intake, adding more pumps in my day, lactation supplements and lactation treats was I able to start reaching 30-35 oz a day. I was able to purchase a stand up freezer and store a lot of breast milk for when anytime my supply started to drop towards the end of my journey or started using breast milk in the solids I would give my son. I was proud of the hard work I put into it and couldn’t be happier that I had reached my goal of a year breast feeding. I was relieved once it ended. My mind at peace.

Now here I am once again. I struggle with the thought of doing this all over again for another now…49 weeks or longer depending. This time around I have a oversupply when I prepped for under supply in the beginning. I am proud and yet stressed to say I am at 50-60 oz per day! This time around I did maintain a good water intake, coconut eater from a company I found, lactation brownies, prenatals and pumping at least 6 times a day (its advised to do more like 8-12 so please don’t try this if you’re experiencing an under supply). This all isn’t easy since breast feeding and exclusively pumping has its pros and cons. Every situation is unique and I have my own personal struggles to overcome when it comes to pumping from the wash and sterilizing of bottles and pump part to planning each pump to make sure the kids are comfortable and in a safe place while I sit for 20-30 minutes.

To put this into perspective that’s 20-30 minutes for every pump and at the recommended 8-12 times a day for the first 6 weeks to establish supply. Pumping can actually be a full time job cause this doesn’t include the constant washing of parts and bottles. While taking care of a new baby and everything else of course. This is a glimpse of the struggle but I am proud of myself and those who keep their littles fed. Fed is best and even those who give their little ones formula its still its own struggle to afford formula in the first place. Whether you’re new to this journey or returning. Welcome (Welcome back) you’re not alone!

Life, motherhood

Growing from One to Two Earthside

Everlasting Sirua

It’s difficult when you’ve experienced loss of pregnancy. Every pregnancy after you’re stuck in a limbo of what ifs and worry for any news that’ll shake your wold. Every appointment you wonder if the doctors will tell you something a parent never wants to hear. It takes away some but not all of those little joys of being pregnant. The excitement of an ultrasound replaced by anxiety right before. It feels like you’re holding your breath and waiting until they’re in your arms. Even after a successful pregnancy. I still had those nerves being pregnant a fourth time.

Time went by quicker this time. I almost didn’t want the day to come from how unready I felt. Then I remembered that nothing prepares you 100 percent for motherhood. Whether it be the first time you’re becoming a mother or anytime after that. A toddler and a newborn? It was going to be surreal.

Now, that we have our second earth-side son here. I forget how small newborns are. How cuddly they can be all curled up in your chest and you don’t want to move cause you want the moment to last forever. To be their safe place a little while longer before they cry for a feeding or a change. I wasn’t sure how I would feel after having our first earth-side son for over 2 years. I was worried that I would feel too overwhelmed and have mixed emotions. It’s amazing what emotions will do. I honestly felt myself grow. Your heart and soul expands. It’s as if the world around you becomes bigger with love to welcome another child into your life. The pieces fall into place and soon it’s almost as if they were meant to be.

As of now I’m 2 weeks postpartum and to be honest this time around feels a bit easier with the jitters. I know as the weeks go by there will be easy days as there will be difficult days. Especially, once my husband returns to work from family leave. For now I want to soak up these moments while I heal. I’ll share my labor story and raw postpartum with time. I still have days where it feels surreal that I have two kids with me now. Somehow it feels so right and almost impossible based on what we went through. But, I think it was meant to be.