Hobbies, Life, Product Review

Tarot Readings: Beginning my Awakening

I recently got into tarot reading one day. Not sure exactly, you know those Facebook Ads that creepily come up and you tell yourself “yeah they’re listening.” It was probably one of those. I came across an ad for Threads of Fate. I fell in love with their card designs, the aesthetics, and their belief of finding our own individuality as spiritual people. Then there I was purchasing not one but two of their decks. No regrets. I highly recommend their decks with how gorgeous they are. I feel connected with my decks and it’s funny cause when I did introduce myself to my decks they sassed me. How could they!?

First of all, the decks are gorgeous. I was able to get their Tarot Journeyer and Oracle Lumen. Still debating the rose edition for collector’s sake. I’ve mostly used them to read myself or any residual energy from my dreams. The accuracy has been unreal and yet comforting to say the least. I was happy to be able to do a reading for a friend who had passed and was able to do a spirit guide spread and it was accurate for them too. It was emotional and exciting all at once.

The excitement I feel when reading buzzes throughout my whole being. I feel a tug in my soul and this vibration that relaxes me. Although I am completely new to this and not sure what any of this supposed to be like. I hope to be able to read for others one day. But for now, I’ll keep the cards close and personal until I’m ready. I have uploaded my somewhat set up so far on my tik tok. Doesn’t do the deck’s beauty any justice. Enjoy!

Have you been to a tarot reading before? How was it? Did you feel anything? Comment below your experience. Stay sweet lovelies.

Life

Barely Processing the year 2020

Isn’t it crazy that it’s almost 2022? Feels like 2020 was a blur while 2021 is barely coming into focus. It’s insane how much has changed since then. The uncertainty that still lingers after all this time. 2020 was the year that I felt the most change: from starting school. Losing a job due to the pandemic and back to work again from home. Pregnant and chasing a toddler around for his therapies. It feels like things have slowly come to a rhythm of sorts. Now my toddler is going to school and things have picked up at work. Getting through the school terms with hiccups on the way. None the less I can’t complain.

I’m still here moving along as the changes comes. You discover things. You meet people along the way. Hobbies come and go. As do people in your life. You form connections and lose some. There’s things I discovered about myself that I didn’t know before. Overcame obstacles I never thought I would face. But overall, this uncertainty is still here. For now, I’ll continue to sip my morning coffees and try to smile through this. Appreciate the days and nights with my little ones and husband.

How has your life changed since the pandemic? Comment below.

Also wanted to thank everyone who consistently read my blogs and give likes. I appreciate you all. Stay sweet everyone.

Life

Juggling Time and Hobbies: Personal Struggles

There’s simply not enough time in a day for everything. I’ve always cycled hobbies and things I learn or want to learn. Once I find something I like. I research and try my best to find out everything about it before diving in. Even when I do, there’s a chance I’ll lose interest. Whether it be lack of time or the way my brain is wired (more on this later). Hobbies or at least some can be cycled whether it be by seasons, mood, or life style changes. After becoming a mother, this is exceptionally true. I didn’t lose interest but I had less time. Work? School? Well things get complicated.

I’ll be honest. For some things my time management is on point. Especially if it has nothing to do with myself (Ha!). I do tend to procrastinate when it comes to myself personally, it’s a struggle. Constant cycle of when should I do this? When should I do that? I have an appointment tomorrow? Since when?

I’ve officially become that person. The calendar person. Where I use google calendar to input my work meetings, family related events, doctor appointments or reminders. Without them I would be a complete mess of a person. Causing more stress than I already have. I try my best to squeeze in hobbies that make me happy. Watching anime, playing video games with friends, reading, writing, and even blogging. I wish I could be more active on this. Time escapes so easily when you’re busy.

Hobbies are a form of self love and a way to de stress. But it can also take away from priorities which makes it such a struggle to balance. One day this won’t be so overwhelming for me. That’s what I keep telling myself. That life is an ocean, do we prepare for a storm or will it be a wonderful day? It’s unpredictable.

One day it’ll get better. Just maybe not tomorrow?

Life

Celebrating Life Accomplishments

Life is constantly moving. It’s always changing and you start to wonder how different things are every time you dwell in the past. As someone who overthinks things and puts herself down. I want to take a moment to celebrate some life accomplishments/updates that I feel proud or happy about:

•Got my license •First car purchase •GPA went up •Induced into The National Society of Leadership and Success •Keeping appointments both for physical and mental health upkeep •6 months breastfeeding •Managed to not gain more than 3 pounds •Became an aunt to an adorable little boy •Continuing my school education regardless of the obstacles I face •Practicing tarot card reading

Some of this was not easy. Sometimes even the strongest can fall but it’s important to get back up again. I strive for something when I think of my future and my family. But I always try to remind myself to slow down and be happy. To thank my loved ones for their support. At times this is scary. As a mother and a wife, there’s so much to worry about that it’s easy to forget about myself in many ways. Self care, eating healthy, finding time for things I love, while also continuing what I set out to do. Most of all achieving happiness and finding joy in all the small things.

I hope to continue these updates and blogs. I might just post random things. I want to post about anime, cars, school and motherhood struggles. Or whatever I feel like in the moment. But I’ll stick to whatever works.

What makes you happy? Comment below. Follow me on my social links below and stay sweet everyone.

Life

Breaks and Still Broken

It’s hard trying to be better for yourself. To create these habits to build yourself up. Tell that voice in your heard to stop being so negative and breathe a moment. I’m still on a journey. A journey where I find myself wondering where life will go and trying to experience things as they come to me.

These frequent breaks are necessary but doesn’t mean I come back bigger or better. I try to be stronger and sometimes it’s difficult doing it. But I strive for a better tomorrow. Cherish the day and keep pushing more than yesterday. I hope I want to be kinder to myself moving forward.

If you’re reading this take it as a sign. Be kinder to yourself too. I’ll update more soon sweeties. Much love.

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Weight Plateau, Process And New Changes

I’ve hit a weight plateau where I haven’t lost weight and don’t gain much either. At first I was afraid for my milk supply. Even with all the supplements I was taking I wasn’t sure if it would be enough but I am going to chance it til I see there’s an issue.

I started on this wellness journey with an oversupply of milk. was proud but also felt as though it was draining so much out of me I did not know what to do. I was eating about 2,300 calories and still lost 1-2 lbs a week for about a month. It wasn’t until the milk supply lowered that I could lower my intake to 2,100. The weight loss still slow but manageable. I eventually reached my goal weight and plateaued. I didn’t mind since it was difficult as a mother of two, working from home and doing school online. Most days I am exhausted and only wish to curl up to my husband to watch anime as the kids sleep. I have days where I wish my brain could take a moment and breathe. It’s been difficult to find that peace and center ground. But, I did find it again.

I am now taking 1,850 calories to start. I would say 50 percent of my diet is protein shakes and dinner/snacks have been my main solid foods. I am slowly changing what dinner looks like and still reducing portions for now. I take my supplements to make sure I continue to have a milk supply for my son , keep myself hydrated and fed. Next week I would like to start a strength training regimen since I made 12 weeks postpartum. It’s important that the body heals and teach yourself patience in this process. Love yourself and the body you’re in. Find the will to keep going cause there will be days you give in and want that fast food that you know you shouldn’t have right now. But, you keep going and repeat the process again. You can do this!

Next time I will talk about what I am eating and if its working since all this is all recent. There’s still room to tweak or improve. I am no expert and also want to get blood drawn in my next physical to make sure my body is tolerating the way it should. Everyone’s journey is not the same but inspirations sparks from places we least expect it to. It does help that when I start to feel like my world is heavy. My husband brings me my favorite: Salmon sushi.

Hope everyone is staying safe and as always: Stay Sweet

Life

Origin of Sirua

There’s not much a story behind on the name other than what it means to me. A lot of my tags and social media are Siruax15 and I’ve gotten used to the name when being to referred to as so online. I almost find it to be an entity when I play online games or introduce myself online as more time passes. I’ve started to accept that the name I came up with has really become a part of me. I might need to drop the X one day since people confuse it for the name. I did it to separate the 15 from the name. Guess you can say I’ve marketed the name for myself due to its anonymity it gives me and what it means to me entirely.

Now the meaning:

S is first letter of my name and thus every letter is the name of my family’s name. S is mine, I for husband, R and U for my late daughter and son, A for my son. Second son’s name is an S so its included and perfect to me. Although the name is used as a reference towards me. It’s also a reminder that behind this facade is not only me. It’s all the titles that comes with being Sirua. Mother, Wife, Gamer and much more. Anyone out there have a name they made or been stuck with for some reason?


Yay on 50 blog posts on here!

Short blog today. Lack of sleep gets me most days besides being busy. I will update and pin my social media links if anyone wants to contact me. Stay sweet everyone!

Life

Taking Control of my Health: First Wellness Entry

A while ago I started a series where I thought I would lose weight and begin being healthy again. I was pregnant soon after and that was forgotten after the many days of morning sickness along with being exhausted. Now at postpartum, breastfeeding and avoiding caffeine for the sake of it all, I felt the need to take control of myself again. To take the chance to change my eating habits little by little.

I have admit, this has been a mixture of good and not so good. I am still getting into groove with being a mother to a newborn again. My older ASD son has therapies 20 plus hours a week, sleep deprived, Pumping, part-time job, full time online student and still wanting to connect again socially. It’s overwhelming at times since time management can go out the window when my days aren’t planned. Kids are wild cards and life can throw things at you at full speed. Most days I have a grasp but others I lose track of when I ate and what will I eat.

Not knowing what to eat and making meals consumed my time. All I was consuming were essentially my lactation brownies, water, milk, and dinner if the kid allowed. Most days we ordered dinner and I did my best for it to be something not too unhealthy. It’s difficult feeding yourself when you have two other kids who need your undivided attention.

I desperately searched for anything that I could possibly drink or have. My protein shakes that I love contained more caffeine than needed and while breastfeeding that can be an issue. My best bet was Amazon Fresh and I luckily came across these personal salad bowls that came with different ingredients and dressing so you can enjoy different flavor profiles without worry what to eat or preparing ingredients since its all there for you to mix. I also order some small servings of fruits to serve and snack throughout the day if needed. Planters Nut-rition pack snacks, cheese sticks, Sargento Balanced breaks with cheddar cheese, and tried to have dinners where protein was the main focus. Eventually I came across a meal plan service called Splendid Spoon and ordered that to try out. They have different plans and I opted for 5 smoothies and 5 plant based meals to start off.

First of all, I am one of those people that when it comes to smoothies I can be a bit put off by ingredients and taste. Of course, the smoothies blends are great for anyone used to drinking healthy already. I t was intimidating for me personally but I managed to drink all five this past week without thinking about it much. As for the plant based food I definitely have enjoyed eating them. My favorites so far are Vegetable Bolognese and Beans with Greens. The Cuban Bowl I enjoyed as well but it didn’t have the flavor profile I was expecting but I would order it again perhaps. I am still getting through the meals and will update which others I enjoy.

It’s been about two weeks since I started to eat healthier and I have to say that it is important what we put into our bodies to fuel it. I have a bit more energy than before and I do take into account that I’m breastfeeding so I do up my calories a bit to fit my goals and make sure I eat and snack a bit throughout the day. My portions are reduced and taking into account my weight before being pregnant with my second. I’ve lost about 20 lbs so far. I hit a plateau where now I go up and down 1 pound but I am happy to be fitting better in my favorite shorts again. I will update more as I go and hopefully I keep myself motivated this time. Once I’m healed and ready to go I might add some work outs. Squats at home? Walking with a stroller? Both? We shall see!

Life

Opening about D-MER: Not Every Breastfeeding Journey is a Happy One

What’s D-MER you ask? Not a lot of people know of it or talk about it. To be honest I hadn’t heard of it either until I had my 2018 baby. For those that don’t know D-MER is Dysphoria Milk Ejection Reflex (let down).

What it does is once breast milk starts to “let down” these feelings begin to stir that are negative. There’s so many ways I could describe it but on most days I feel as though theirs this emptiness in my stomach and a knot in my throat. I dread this feeling every time I pump since so many thoughts arise from it. Back in 2018, I thought I was going through Postpartum depression but odd enough I would only feel this when pumping. Outside of pumping I was mostly okay and felt tired. I was relieved to not be pumping until I had to pump again a few hours later. The cycle was endless and the anxiety would built up the first few minutes of pumping and slowly dissolved towards the end. The relief after was like a breath of fresh air.

I will admit, I have experienced panic attacks in my life and I can say that D-MER can feel similar to the build up of a panic attack. It messes with your mental health. It can make you feel alone and hopeless in that moment. Especially such a vulnerable moment such as breastfeeding or pumping. I was a healing mother with emotional and physical wounds, a newborn baby that needed me and navigating unknown territory. I felt as though I was trapped in my own emotions and no way of getting out. I felt as if I would snap from the pressure of perfect expectations I formed for myself as a mother and wife. There were times I wanted to scream and cry for everything and everyone to leave me alone. To the point I would silence my phone and found myself breathing through it without being aware of what I was going through. One day, I had enough and began to research. I came across this article about D-MER- It all began to make sense. I cried and never felt so relieved that there was a name for what was happening to me.

I hope that if anyone runs across this blog wondering about D-MER or if you’re learning about this for the first time out of curiosity. Well, welcome to my world. If you’re experiencing D-MER as a mother breastfeeding just know you’re not alone and there is hope yet. The symptoms lessen as time carries on, however, if you’re experiencing thoughts of self-harm and feel that your mental health is suffering. Please do what is best for you and your baby. Fed is always best and a happy momma is a happy baby.

Life, motherhood

Growing from One to Two Earthside

It’s difficult when you’ve experienced loss of pregnancy. Every pregnancy after you’re stuck in a limbo of what ifs and worry for any news that’ll shake your wold. Every appointment you wonder if the doctors will tell you something a parent never wants to hear. It takes away some but not all of those little joys of being pregnant. The excitement of an ultrasound replaced by anxiety right before. It feels like you’re holding your breath and waiting until they’re in your arms. Even after a successful pregnancy. I still had those nerves being pregnant a fourth time.

Time went by quicker this time. I almost didn’t want the day to come from how unready I felt. Then I remembered that nothing prepares you 100 percent for motherhood. Whether it be the first time you’re becoming a mother or anytime after that. A toddler and a newborn? It was going to be surreal.

Now, that we have our second earth-side son here. I forget how small newborns are. How cuddly they can be all curled up in your chest and you don’t want to move cause you want the moment to last forever. To be their safe place a little while longer before they cry for a feeding or a change. I wasn’t sure how I would feel after having our first earth-side son for over 2 years. I was worried that I would feel too overwhelmed and have mixed emotions. It’s amazing what emotions will do. I honestly felt myself grow. Your heart and soul expands. It’s as if the world around you becomes bigger with love to welcome another child into your life. The pieces fall into place and soon it’s almost as if they were meant to be.

As of now I’m 2 weeks postpartum and to be honest this time around feels a bit easier with the jitters. I know as the weeks go by there will be easy days as there will be difficult days. Especially, once my husband returns to work from family leave. For now I want to soak up these moments while I heal. I’ll share my labor story and raw postpartum with time. I still have days where it feels surreal that I have two kids with me now. Somehow it feels so right and almost impossible based on what we went through. But, I think it was meant to be.